Wednesday, June 03, 2009
you. i dream about having milkshakes with you almost everyday.
you. you're one of my closest person but sometimes, i second guess our friendship. sometimes, you just dont care.
you. soon you'll be away. for a good period of time, very long. and i cant help but feel threatened because what if it happens again. what if this is lost. i dont think i can handle another episode of friends walking out.
you. im trying my bestest to get back to where it was before but nothing seems to be working. if only i could turn back time i would never have raised my voice or reprimanded you for what you did. then maybe, i could still hear another word of
sister.
i've applied for school and the agency. because she claims one yr is pretty much equivalent to nothing, clinics' are about the only option. im afraid and literally overflowing with anxiety. so much so im contemplating on backing out and feeling so much regret that i even left. regret is supposed to stop, it is not allowed to resurface. this makes two commitments, and i have two more to add. people make mistakes and they try to make it right. mine's turning wrong. i need the pennies and nickles.
brothers are going to be away for 3weeks, this will be the longest i wont be seeing them and i dont like it.
crying makes me tired, so i cried myself to sleep last night. at times, its remedy.
took a picture / 11:49 PM
